Impossibility
by Aergiia
Summary: STORY IS DISCONTINUED. Sakura finds a wounded Uchiha Itachi near her apartment, and proceeds to heal him. However, when he wakes up, she finds that he has no memories whatsoever! Faced with caring for him, can Sakura handle this? Perverted comedy, ItaSaku.
1. Chapter 1: On That Night

Disclaimer: I only WISH I owned Ita—I mean, Naruto. Silly me.

Summary: Being a medic calls for preparation for every possible disaster, and a very scholarly mind to memorize every medical book possible. Despite that, nothing could ever prepare Haruno Sakura for what awaited her… right in her own backyard (more like the bushes)! Perverted ItaSaku comedy. Please read and review!

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated my Homecoming fic since an eternity ago… Please don't kill me. x.x

Chapter One: Impossibility  
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**Midnight  
**  
Sigh…

That was the one action Haruno Sakura found herself doing lately. After the mission to find (or rescue, as her blonde friend would put) Sasuke failed, she just felt nothing but depression. After all, she had trained for _three years_ in hopes of helping Naruto in his quest, but despite that she only got in the way _again_… for Captain Yamato had to protect her.

So, as her feelings of not being needed resurfaced for the second time in her life, she drowned herself in hospital work in hopes of forgetting everything that went wrong. And as usual, the pinkette walked back to her apartment after a long, tiring day. The sky was a dark midnight blue; it was the same with the street she walked on, only large circular spots of light from lamps littered it.

'_Let's see…,' _she rummaged around in her bag, _'…did I buy everything I need for dinner?'_

'_**No, of course you didn't,' **_said a voice in the back of her head. _**'You're too useless to even make yourself dinner, so spare the trouble and go get yourself some take-out or some fast-food. Hell, you'd do the whole world a favor if you would just blah got blah take-outs blah blah jeez blah blah blah…' **_Outer Sakura slowly droned out Inner Sakura's usual ranting of their useless-ness, having already heard it one too many times. _'You know, it'd do the whole world a favor if you'd just shut up, Inner,' _she thought. The reply came back in the form of a snort, as usual.

To Sakura, everything she has been doing ever since returning from that mission was just so… boring; so routine; Wake up, get ready, go work at the hospital, go back home, eat, and sleep. Really, it was all she _could _do (for three years!)… and that thought** infuriated **her. Not being able to take it anymore, she dropped her bag of groceries she had just bought, clapped her hands together, squeezed her eyes shut and extremely concentrated on the prayer at hand.

"God," she said aloud, not like anyone was around to hear her, "My life has always been full of disappointments, and I'm never needed by anyone, not even Ino, my best friend." She pauses, thinking carefully about her request. Then she said bitterly, "So if you STILL have a so-called 'plan' for my life like everyone thinks you do, then please, **please… **JUST GIVE ME A DAMN SIGN ALREADY!!" Gradually opening her eyes, she stood and waited for something to happen.

Nothing (excluding that bundle of hay rolling along).

So she waited some more.

Still nothing (except for a few chirps from nearby crickets).

"Screw this," she muttered under her breath. Frustrated, she kicked the bag, sending it into the next park across the village and continued her journey home until the smell of something metallic wafted to her nose.

The pink-headed medic stopped dead in her tracks, medical instincts and adrenaline kicking in. That kind of scent could only mean one thing and one thing only: blood. At this time? But where? Focusing, she sent small waves of chakra out from her body in search of the source. After a moment, she pinpointed the location in her mind; a little ways to her right, hidden among the bushes and leaves of nearby trees. Immediately her legs broke out into a sprint while her hands readied the healing chakra. However, there was a problem.

The legs that carried her came to a screeching halt as soon as it began running. The person who lay before her had leaves and small roots entangled in his ebony hair, which covered his pale features like a waterfall. His breathing was shallow and labored, his figure helplessly sprawled out. Blood was steadily flowing from his head, as well as from his torso. This was the person she had expected to see. It 

was the one person whom she had always blamed for her sadness, the one person she had always blamed for Sasuke's betrayal.

That person was someone by the name of Uchiha Itachi. Sasuke's older brother.

'_What the hell is HE doing here?! Could he be after Naruto again?' _she thought. _'No, that can't be. He wouldn't have come after him if he was this injured. Who could've possibly done this to him?'_

Regaining her composure, she began treating his injuries. Among them were several stab and slash wounds (non were fatal) accompanied by a severe concussion. She promised herself when she apprenticed under Tsunade that she'd heal any and all those who're in need, and he shouldn't be an exception, even _if _she wished for his death; she simply abhorred hypocrisy.

How and why this man was here in Konoha at all was beyond her, but for the moment that would have to wait. The only thing she should be focusing on now are his wounds…

**A few hours later, at Sakura's house (3:00AM)**

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsssss!!

Cold, crisp water gushing from the faucet splashed against Sakura's bloody hands. She looked at the mirror and stared at the bandaged figure in her bed. A tired sigh escaped her lips.

"I'm going to report this to Tsunade-sama tomorrow," she mumbled to herself. After all, it's 3 AM in the morning and damn did she want to crawl into bed and get some shut-eye. Problem was, _he _was in her bed (she had laid him there without thinking) and if she simply lacked the strength to move him after draining herself of chakra. Would she have to sleep on the floor?

She glanced down at it. Doing nothing but hospital work and not house work all the time left the floor dirty and neglected, not to mention that there were even bugs skittering across. Sakura had two choices at the moment before her body turns off on her: the floor with creepy critters, or the bed with a weasel.

She took the bed.

**1:00 PM (that's 10 hours lol)**

Nnnnn…

Her eyes fluttered open to the afternoon sunlight. Having ten hours worth of sleep powering her, Sakura slowly sat up, stretched and yawned. Then she looked to her left to check on a certain weasel, but…

… Oh Dear God. The weasel's gone.

Her eyes instantly widened in shock and she began to frantically look about her room. This could be bad, really bad; An S-class criminal is missing after being treated by a certain pink-haired medic, and she could be branded as a traitor if he was seen leaving her apartment! Sakura stumbled across her room in her panic and tripped over her own feet, landing on a dark article of clothing; pants. But wait a minute… the pants was too big to be hers, and the brand didn't match what she usually wore. That could only mean that--

Her thoughts were interrupted by a poke from behind. Mind freezing, the pinkette slowly turned her head around (why did he POKE her, of all the things he was capable of doing?) and there he was, Uchiha Itachi…

…nude, unless you count the bandages that messily wrapped around his torso and waist. His hair tie was God knows where, allowing his hair to grace his shoulders and back. He was sitting on his knees, and he was just about to reach out to poke her again until Sakura screamed.

"GYAAAAHHH!!" she shrieked as she shot up from her position, blushing. Pointing a finger at him, she yelled, "W-why the HELL are you N-N-NAKED?! And w-why did you t-take off your pants?! P-put some clothes on dammit!!" Looking up, Itachi only gave her a questioning stare.

"A… ano…" her eyes darted around the room nervously, wanting to look at anything else other than his body. **'**_**Hot damn, Outer,"**_Inner Sakura whistled. _**'He has some nice abs… not to mention those legs of his. Oh, if only the bandages weren't in the way!' **_Outer Sakura could only imagine what Inner wanted to do.

_'Sh-shut up, Inner! This man is dangerous! He's the one who ruined Sasuke's life and attempted to capture Naruto! There's NO WAY I could ever think of him l-like th-that,' _Sakura inwardly replied. _**'Oh really? Then why are you stuttering, huh?' **_Hm. Outer Sakura had to admit, she didn't have anything to say to that. Anyways, back to reality. The "dangerous" man, Uchiha Itachi, was still staring at her, and he was still nude. He then began taking off the bandages. _**'…Wow… Go slower…' **_

"Erm…" she paused, trying desperately not to look at the scene in front of her. "Hey! S-stop that! Didn't you hear me? G-go put some clothes on!" He stopped, bandages still in hand. Again, he only looked at her, blinking as he did so. She tried again. "Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

"Do… do you even un… understand… what… I'm saying?" he carefully imitated Sakura. She stared at him. Is he making fun of her?

"What's one plus one?" she asked, eyes narrowing.

"What's… won plus won?" he mimicked. Again, Sakura could only stare at him. Itachi didn't seem to understand her at all. Sakura thought back to when she had discovered him. She remembered that he had a concussion. Slowly, her mind put two and two together, and only then did it hit her.

Itachi had full-blown amnesia (1).

_'This… cannot be happening,' _she thought. _**'Oh yes it is!' **_squeaked Inner. _**'Just a little bit more to the—' **__'INNER, FOR THE LAST TIME, SHUT UP!'_

**At Tsunade's Office (1:30 PM)**

"Okay, so let me get this straight," began the blonde haired Hokage, "You were walking home late last night when you discovered him not too far from your apartment." Sakura nodded. "… and he was badly wounded, so you took priority healing him. Afterwards, you didn't have much energy left so you went to sleep," Tsunade continued. Another nod. "And you wake up only to find that he has full-blown amnesia?" she finished. Another nod.

An awkward silence filled the room.

"… Um… I don't know what else to say but… wow," said Tsunade. She glanced over at the raven haired young man standing next to Sakura, wearing the biggest shirt and baggiest pants the pink haired medic could find (his Akatsuki uniform was dirty and bloodstained). It was albeit strange, seeing a dangerous criminal eyeing the bubblegum hair innocently.

"That's it? 'Wow'?" Sakura said, dumbfounded. "What am I going to do now?"

Tsunade spoke slowly, thinking, "Well if I'm not mistaken, he doesn't understand anything. Correct?"

"Yes.."

"Then," Sakura's shishou shrugged, "take care of him for the time being until he does… I guess?"

Sakura stared wide-eyed at the world's most big chested woman in front of her. "Sorry?"

"Exactly what I just said," Tsunade was confident now, "take care of him. That will be your new mission, Sakura; take care of him, and if he remembers anything important report it to me immediately. Yes… That's an order, Sakura." That was the end of the conversation. Sulking, Sakura took hold of Itachi's wrist and led him out.

'_This could be interesting,' _thought Tsunade. _'I know you hate it Sakura, but you've been pretty depressed lately. Hopefully this would lighten up your mood a bit, although the fact that the Uchiha came here again was quite disturbing… what could he have come here for?' _Thinking made the busty blonde's head hurt. Waving the thoughts aside, she grabbed a sake bottle from under her desk and began drinking.

Sakura walked through the civilian crowds, Itachi closely following. Whispers and murmurs could be heard and people were eyeing the both of them strangely.

"Wow, check those two out. Are they a couple?"

"How cute!"

"Is there something wrong with the guy? He's wearing a bunny shirt.."

"He's so hot! There shouldn't be a reason why she's sulking…"

Sakura sped up her pace, as well as Itachi. Looking up at the sky, she thought, '_Please tell me this isn't the sign, God.'_

Chapter 1 End  
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(1)I don't even know if it's possible to forget _everything_, literally. But this is fanfiction, so let's just say it is.

So… did you like it? Please read and review… oO

- Wingless Fallen Angel


	2. Chapter 2: Blurred

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto… otherwise the manga would have much, much more crack and Itachi would've have… erk, spoilers.

Hi there! Thanks for all the kind reviews. I love ya'll. But before you read on, I'll need to warn you that this story may contain spoilers from the manga (I forgot to mention that in the first chapter haha). Anyways, on to chapter 2!

Chapter Two: Blurred

* * *

Her name is Haruno Sakura. She is a fiery-spirited, pink headed medical apprentice to Tsunade with piercing emerald eyes. She is one of the best medics Konoha has ever seen. However, healing techniques weren't the only things Tsunade taught her. She's also capable of completely destroying buildings and sending people flying 500 meters per second with all but a flick of her finger. Haruno Sakura was a beautiful, powerful woman and her intelligence could only be matched by those from the Nara clan. Some say she may as well surpass even her shishou because her chakra control is superior to even Tsunade.

**8:00AM, Sakura's room**

"Nnnn…" Blinding sunlight filtered through the curtains and splashed onto the medic's eyelids, pulling her out of her dreamworld. Sakura was far too comfortable on her mattress to wake up just yet, so instead of sitting up and yawning, she rolled over to get even more comfortable. However, the rolling caused her to bump into something soft… something soft, and warm.

"Hn?" the said something murmured a response and poked her cheek (he found that he liked poking her). Emerald eyes shot open to meet pair of beautiful onyx that happened to belong to a man… a man, that was in bed with her at that very moment. His finger was still in contact with Sakura's cheek.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" the so-called "beautiful, powerful woman" shrieked the loudest her vocal cords could go, no doubt waking up some poor neighbors next door.

**A few minutes later **

"Yes… yes, I know, I understand. I'm terribly sorry, sir, for waking you up. It won't happen again. And yes, I'm okay. Thank you, bye," the sound of hanging up the phone could be heard from the living room. Sighing, Sakura stalked across to the open door to her room, seeing Itachi inside. He was seated, currently preoccupied at his pink surroundings.

Sakura's apartment isn't very large; there are only two rooms and a bathroom. The living room and the kitchen were combined, and there was a circular table placed in the middle. Connected to the living room/kitchen is her room, and connected to her room is the bathroom. It would've been quite an ordinary apartment if it weren't for the things that Sakura had; almost everything that belonged to the medic were pink, including body cushions, cups, pencils, clothing, stuffed animals, the alarm clock, etc., etc.

But now as he sat across from her, in _her _room, she took a good long look at him, something she wasn't able to do during the rescue Gaara mission. As she noticed from this morning, Itachi had what could've been the most beautiful pair of eyes she had ever seen (as much as she'd hate to admit). His eyelashes were and long and delicately curved, accentuating his eyes, making it ever more beautiful than it already was. His hair was a soft, gentle black much to Sakura's surprise, and those long locks gracefully framed his face. His skin was nothing short of perfection—it was completely smooth and soft to the touch, yet firm at the same time. One would think he was a woman if it weren't for his bass voice and those bags under his eyes, but seriously; she envied the Uchiha family for having such genes.

And so here she sat, staring half-heartedly at a certain raven haired man in front of her (_**'He's so deliciously innocent. Cha!'**_), not quite sure how to go about "taking care of him," as Tsunade had put it. No, it wasn't that she didn't have an idea _how_, it was just simply because she hated him. She hated him with her whole being. Taking care of people is her specialty, after all, so it shouldn't be much of a problem. The only thing in her way was his background... and, maybe his looks. _Maybe._ All the while, curious onyx orbs met weary emerald innocently, waiting for his rosy caretaker to do something.

_'She said to take care of him until he remembers something,' _thought Sakura. _'Easier said than done. Now just where do I begin?' _Sakura slouched her shoulders, and Itachi copied her movements. _'And why do _I _have to do this?'_

_**'Awwwww, he's so cute, copying you and all. Anyways, why don't you start by teaching him his name?' **_suggested Inner Sakura. _**'And you could teach him your name too, while you're at it.' **_There was a pause inside their mind. _**'Hello? You out there?'**_

_'… You know, Inner, that's the first sentence you've ever said that's not perverted but useful,' _joked Outer Sakura. _'And I think I might just go with what you just said.' __**'Hmph.'**_

Standing up, she said, "Itachi. Your name's Itachi," whilst pointing to him.

"Ita..chi?" Itachi pointed to himself. Sakura nodded. Well, at least he seems to learn quickly… he isan adult after all, despite being memory-less. Then Itachi stood up and pointed to Sakura. "Itachi," he repeated. Huh? Then he pointed to the floor, the ceiling, the bed, and everything else in between while repeating his name at each point. "Itachi, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi, Itachi."

"Huh—Wha? No, no! _Your _name's Itachi!" she took his hand and pointed it to himself. "I-ta-chi!" then she had him point to her, "Sa-ku-ra. These are names!"

"Hn," he said. His voice was soft and low. He mimicked her again and this time, got the names straight. "Names," he finished. There was no emotion on his features. There was no way of knowing if he really understood it for sure.

"Yes, names," unsure, she then continued naming all the little things she could possibly point out in the room. "And that's the ceiling, that's the bed, the floor, the drawer, the door…" After about ten minutes, her stomach growled, emitting a strange rumbling, moaning sound (which earned a poke to the navel from the weasel). Sakura let off a small squeak from the awkward gesture. "Hey! Don't do that…" she didn't know why, but she couldn't keep herself from blushing. This guy really _has_ lost his memories. "But um, anyways, Itachi, it's breakfast time," she called out. He blinked and followed her out of her room with a blank expression.

Soon afterwards the sounds of milk splashing against cereal could be heard. Sakura fixed him a bowl of cereal, plopped in a spoon and pushed it towards him. "Breakfast.," said Sakura, waiting for him to mimick.

"Breakfast," replied the raven copycat.

"Yeah, breakfast," she mumbled while shoving a spoonful of corn flakes into her mouth. Itachi sat and stared at the strange contents before him. He still wore the bunny shirt and baggy pants the medic gave him yesterday (how Sakura got him to wear it, no one will ever know). His Akatsuki uniform was still drying in the dryer and she'd have to wait till she could give it back to him. As for his other belongings, such as his necklace and hair tie, those were now resting on top of her bookshelf. Then slowly, as if cautiously, he stuck a finger in his bowl and began swirling it around. Sakura had to admit, this was a strange sight for her… especially in the morning. _'Heh, to think someone like the person in front of me is the most wanted criminal in Konoha,' _she thought. _'Was he always like this as a child? I wonder how he could ever become a mass murderer…' _It was difficult, imagining him as a child playing with his action figures and stuffed animals. It simply didn't match, and the effort of the thought caused Sakura to frown in concentration when all of a sudden, a wet slob smacked her cheek. "ACK! What the hell is this?" She wiped it from her face.

"Breakfast," answered the raven. The corn flakes that were swirling around in the milk were now all clumped together. Itachi's doing. "Sakura," dipping his hand in the bowl, he scooped up a handful of the mixture and proceeded to throw another blob at his caretaker. What the hell? He's seriously not going to throw that at her, is he?

"GAH! No, Itachi!" Sakura threw herself on the table to swipe at his hand (while unknowingly spilling her own bowl over herself). He swiftly pushed his chair back with a screech to dodge her and readied his aim. "No, Itachi! DON'T YOU DARE—Mmph!" Too late. With a blink he shoved a pile of milk-

soaked corn flakes in Sakura's face. Okay, that's it; memory-less or not, that was just unacceptable. Sakura shrieked through the mess and was just about to wring his neck until the table toppled over, sending her head straight into his lap. After a moment of having difficulty breathing, she looked up to try and figure out what her head was logged in.

She wiped the mess from her eyes and looked up, only to see Itachi's face looking down from above. "Sakura?" an awkward silence ensued, well, at least for the pinkette. All she could do for the moment was just lay there, mouth gaping like a fish. Curious at this new action, Itachi poked a finger in her mouth, nearly causing her to gag loudly.

Meanwhile, a whiskered blonde anxiously walked to a certain apartment after finishing talking to the moody Hokage. He just couldn't believe what he had just heard… Uchiha Itachi, here? In this very village, without any memories whatsoever? It just couldn't be true, but the only way to confirm it was to go and ask the one person in charge of him: Sakura.

The blond had just reached his destination and was just about to knock until he heard a disturbing noise from the other side of the door. It sounded like someone was strangling an animal… _'What the?' _he thought.

"Don't you _dare _do that again, you hear me?!" a clear feminine voice coughed, trying to rid of the unwelcome intrusion.

"Sakura-chan? Oi, are you okay? What's going in there?" his voice was filled with alarm, and he burst through the door without waiting for a response. "Sakura-chan! Seriously, what's—ah?" the blonde stopped dead in his tracks. What he saw was certainly something he didn't expect.

There he was, the infamous S-class criminal sitting in a chair, with one of his closest friends in—er, on—his lap. Sakura was in the middle of rubbing her neck with one hand, the other holding onto one of the chair legs. She was just about to yell at the said criminal again until she noticed the shocked expression on the blonde, causing her eyes to widen at the position she was in.

"Naruto?!"

**

* * *

**

At Ichiraku Ramen (11:42PM)

"Ummmm… wow," Naruto said. After that awkward incident, Naruto offered to treat both of them to a bowl of ramen for lunch as an apology for breaking the door lock. Soon after Sakura had finished confirming and explaining how Itachi ever ended up like that, the whiskered blonde had to admit… he really didn't know what else to say.

_'Again with the 'wows,' is that all people have to say?' _thought Sakura. _'They could at least give me some advice or… something! Ugh.' __**'But I can't blame them for saying that. I mean, wow… that word fits in more ways than one,' **_giggled Inner. That comment went unanswered because of the voice that cut in.

"So," piped up Naruto, "what now?"

"… What do you mean?"

"Taking care of him till he remembers something? Is that all that's going to happen now? Won't things get complicated by keeping him… here?" the word 'here' was slightly emphasized. "Granny Tsunade hasn't told anyone else about him yet, but if word of this were to get out of the village… things could get bad."

Now that, Sakura hadn't thought of. She was so annoyed and angered with taking responsibility for Itachi, that she didn't consider what might happen if people outside of the village were to find out. It would attract unnecessary attention, not to mention bounty hunters. They'll surely go and try to kill him for the money…

"But I don't think it'll be as bad as you think though, Naruto," began Sakura. Naruto gave her a questioning look. She continued, "Sure, it'd attract bounty hunters and such, but it may be the only 

means of getting back…" her voice trailed off, an image of another Uchiha forming in her mind. It was clear from their last mission that Sasuke was too powerful to take back by themselves.

"You mean Sasuke, don't you…" Naruto's voice was low and barely audible. The pink head nodded and looked over to Itachi, who was currently watching how the other customers ate for Naruto and Sakura left their bowls untouched. Naruto shook his head, "We can't do that, Sakura-chan."

"And why not? You know he will never come back on his own."

"True, but what will Sasuke think? He didn't train for the past eight years of his life just to kill some helpless amnesiac. I don't know about you, but it's best to keep this within village bounds for now." Naruto had a point; Sasuke would be _fierce _if he found out about his brother's condition. Sakura muttered a reluctant "alright" before finally getting to her food.

Sakura was busy slurping the noodles until a poke to her left cheek bought her attention. "Sakura?" the voice was soft and low, as usual, but this time the tone sounded a bit off. His eyes showed a mixture of emotions she couldn't quite make out, but it disappeared as soon as it came.

"What is it, Itachi?" Sakura frowned, knowing that he wouldn't be able to answer appropriately.

He paused and stared at her for a moment. Shaking his head, he turned back to his lunch. "Itadakimasu," he whispered. Snapping the wooden chopsticks in two, he began eating his ramen.

_'What was that about?' _thought Sakura. She brushed it off, thinking it's not very important to know and finished up the remaining noodles and the broth.

Chapter 2 End

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Awww ain't Itachi cute, poking Sakura and all? And I seriously wonder what he was like as a child, before Sasuke was born. Do you think he would be as "emotionless" as he supposedly is now? If you ask me, I wouldn't think so… I'd like to think that the clan pushed him too hard… Eh, but now we'll never know.

So what'd you think? Please leave reviews, I love to know what you thought of this (even if it's flame). Is the chapter too long or too short? Is it too boring? Please let me know, and I'll try my best to adjust accordingly.

- Wingless Fallen Angel


	3. Chapter 3: The Beginning

A little note before you read: this actually took place at night, not during the daytime. Just thought I'd clarify. 8) Also, I apologize in advance for the LAMEST chapter title ever. I just couldn't think of a good one. Well, sorry for the long ass delay, but chapter 3 is finally up! Please enjoy~

**Chapter 3 – The Beginning  
****------------------------------------------**

It didn't take long for Sakura to fall into a routine. Her days now consisted of teaching Itachi the basics to everyday life as well as making sure he gets fed at the right times. That, and she also has to juggle her hospital shifts as well, leaving Itachi at home for several hours at a time.

At first, she shrugged it off. When she smelled it again, she ignored it and continued to do her paperwork. But when her sensitive nose picked up that strange, slightly unpleasant scent for the third time, Sakura just _had _to find out what the _hell_ it was.

So, she did…

… and sure enough, she instantly regretted it.

She doesn't know how, or why for God's sake this is happening to her, but… man, does she wish her cheeks would just explode and kill her already. But unfortunately, instead she's stuck twiddling around with the hem of her customary red vest whilst desperately trying not to think about the ridiculous (but every other fangirl's dream) situation she's in.

"Okay, Itachi," she began hesitantly. "T-this is how you do it…" Oh how dirty that would sound to an outsider. And more unfortunately for Sakura, Itachi apparently didn't even know how to take his clothes off… which was strange, considering he was awake and conscious when she, uh, clothed him on that first day.

Anyways, it's been several days since Itachi came under Sakura's care. Naturally she would leave the hygiene area up to him, but she should've known better than that. The guy's practically a newborn, what with his amnesia and all. So… naturally, he wouldn't know anything about those types of things. And unfortunately it was reflected with that strange odor he's been giving off since this morning.

Sakura latches her fingers from behind the hem of Itachi's shirt this time and painstakingly lifts it up as though it were a ticking time bomb. The picture of the bunny on his shirt stared back at her with those huge, sparkling eyes and if it were any other day, Sakura would've found it cute. But now she just finds it incredibly _disturbing_ as she continues lifting his shirt high enough to expose the smooth, rose-tinted skin of his chest…

… Not that she's looking, anyway.

"Lift up your arms!" and he complied. The fabric easily slipped past his shoulders and over his head.

'_Okay, now what?' _Her fingers, as though they had a mind of their own, began twiddling with each other in a way that reflected her nervousness. A voice resounded deep in the back of Sakura's mind, answering her rather rhetorical question.

'_**Uhhh, his pants, duh! This is where the good part starts~!' **_squealed Inner Sakura. Outer Sakura's body instantly tensed, her emerald eyes zipping down to wearily view Itachi's pants (or to an outside observer, his crotch) in a horrified manner. _**'Oh, I can hardly wait~!'**_ But Outer Sakura didn't hear the last part of Inner's thoughts. Instead she just sat there, horror-struck, and continued to stare at his pants… because really, that was all she _could _do at the moment; her body wouldn't allow her to do so otherwise. And Itachi, despite all the unnecessary emphasis about how innocent he was, also sat there oh-so-innocently with those shiny, dark, gray eyes of his.

After what seemed like an eternity (which in reality was actually five minutes of intense gazing at those **cursed** pants), Sakura blinked. As if he was on cue, Itachi took that exact moment to poke her squarely between her eyes, stating her name like it was a password. Sakura squeezed her eyes shut. She could feel her eyes sting from behind her eyelids, and for more reasons than one.

'_I can't do this,' _she thought.

* * *

**~ Meanwhile… ~**

_Riiiiiing! Riiiiiiing! I'm gonna be Hokage someday, believe it! Riiiiing! Riiiing!_

A lonely phone embedded in the middle of the wall rang with its customized ring tone. Boxes of takeout and ramen were strewn all over the room, its owner never bothering to clean after himself. He knows his pink-haired friend would kill him if she found out, but hey, since when has a death threat ever stopped him? He wasn't known as the Konoha's number one surprising ninja for nothing, after all. Naruto stumbled out of his slumber and drowsily picked up the phone. His eyes weren't even open to acknowledge it… poor thing.

_Riiiing! Riiiing! I'm gonna be—_

"Hello? Future hokage speaking…" he mumbled, half asleep. On the other end of the line, nothing was heard save for a… sniffle? "… Hello?" He repeated.

"_Naruto?" _It was Sakura. She sounded as though she just caught the flu… _"I… I can't do this." _

"Do what? What are you talking about?"

"_I dunno, just _this_! I can't do it, seriously! You're a guy so you can do it, I mean guys go the hot springs all the time right? And based off of Kakashi-sensei's wacky stories you guys do queer things to each other all the time, right?" _

"… Did you just imply what I _think _you implied, Sakura?"

"_I dunno, and I dun care," _she replied. Her speech was slightly slurred in her desperation, but her tone suddenly took a clear, menacing edge, _"Just get your ass over here, ASAFP!!" _And the line went dead.

Gee. What was that all about, Naruto wonders…

* * *

**~ Back at Sakura's place ~**

"Oh God, Naruto, I'm so glad you're finally here!"

"Uh-huh. Now about those 'queer things' you mentioned earlier…"

"Forget about that, just get over here!" Sakura grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him towards the bathroom door. Naruto smirked.

"What, did you clog the toilet or something—oh." There, sitting beneath the sink was the infamous Uchiha Itachi, who turned and gazed at the blonde, his knees drawn up to his chest. His ponytail was undone, leaving stray strands of ebony hair draped all over his shoulders. He was still shirtless. "Um… so what is this all about again?" his eyes narrowed upon noticing that the weasel was half-naked whilst not missing a beat to shoot a healthy dose of loathing towards him.

"Well, you see…" Sakura began. She twiddled her fingers, suddenly finding the bathtub that was filled with warm water _extremely _interesting in anticipation of the reaction she'd receive. "I kinda sorta need you to… um… take off his pants?"

**~ One moment please ~**

"WHAT?!"

"Naruto, calm down—"

"This is those 'queer things' you were referring to?!—"

"NO—well, maybe—but that's not the point! Well, actually it is… look, just let me explain myself—"

"I'M NOT GAY—"

"I SAID CALM DOWN, DAMMIT!" she smoothed a lock of hair behind an ear and released a heavy sigh laced with an already-growing headache because for God's sake, this situation is just so… so… well there isn't a word that can accurately describe it at the moment. Sakura just can't emphasize that enough in her mind. She could only imagine the horrid fear one of her most closest friends must be feeling right now. Actually, she doesn't think fear is really the correct word; more like disgust, perhaps?

"Just listen, alright?" she began. "As you know, Itachi is currently a complete amnesiac. That said, that also implies that he wouldn't know about things like… like," the very thought of the word scraped against her throat, but she swallowed it down, "hygiene? Of course he wouldn't, haha… "

Silence, unless you counted the incredulous look that's now burning two perfectly symmetrical holes where Sakura's eyes are.

Feeling the sweat seeping out through her very pores, she barely manages to squeeze the next sentence out without grimacing. The words left her lips in a high-pitched almost-whimper-whisper, "And that's where you come in… maybe?"

Silence again, unless you counted the two perfectly symmetrical holes that are rapidly developing into two flaming pits of Hell…

She totally knew that Naruto wasn't going to relent anytime soon. But she wouldn't give up, she couldn't! Who else can she call on for things like this? Ino? Hell no! She'd most likely rape him the moment her eyes catch sight of him— any other hormonal female would (like the author… maybe…), for that matter, and the last thing she needs is one traumatized weasel on her hands. She mustn't give up, she mustn't!

"I'm sorry Sakura-chan, but HIM? I got two words for you: FUCK NO!" With that, he spun on his heels and stomped out the bathroom door.

_Shit! _She can't let this pass, good God no, she couldn't— "Naruto, wait!" His head turned a fraction of an inch to look at her. You know what they all say: Drastic situations call for drastic measures.

She flung her arms around his shoulders, "I'll um… um," Naruto raised a bushy eyebrow in question. She nervously sucked in a deep breath and let it all out in one go, "I'll loveyouforeverandeverandtreatyoulikeaGODifyoujustdothisonetinythingformePLEASE?" Okay, so it wasn't as drastic as one would have thought. He stood there for a moment, cutting the verbal string into understandable words. Upon understanding what Sakura had just said to him, his imagination was kindled and soon images of her feeding him while saying, "Ahhhhh~" were burning from behind his sapphire eyes. Visions of her making him some home-made lunch (made of love~!), massaging his shoulders, and of her saying, "I love you, Naruto!" with that charming smile of hers swam in his make-believe sea of the future…

"Well," he said, rubbing his chin. Sakura was still hugging him while Itachi looked on in confusion. What on earth are they doing? She never hugged him like that… Naruto's features then became smug. "I guess it can't be _that _bad after all…" But he still hated Itachi as much as he hated vegetables. And that's saying a lot! However those fluffy visions of his dream Sakura made his way into his mind once more, effectively muting his loathing. After about two terribly nervous minutes of pondering, he finally gave her his answer, "Okay, but just this once… and ONLY because you're my friend. You better teach him better next time." Instantly, gratitude flooded Sakura's eyes, lighting them up like Christmas lights.

Drastic be damned!

"Phew," he wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I'm glad that's finally over with." But contrary to what one might think, in reality it only took a grand total of thirty-four seconds to wrap a towel around Itachi's hips and allow Naruto to do the rest, including getting him to actually sit in the bathtub via pushing down on his shoulders. Despite how much Naruto disliked him, he had to smirk; the thought of the weasel not liking to get wet amused him greatly. "You can take it from here right?"

"Yeah, thanks Naruto. I owe you one!" Sakura smiled the smile of all her smiles.

He laughed, "I know you do. I'll remember this, Sakura-_chan_~!" And on that note he practically skipped out her apartment, apparently re-living the future with Sakura he painted for himself. His humming could be heard all the way from the bathroom for a couple seconds before it faded away completely.

Turning to face Itachi, Sakura moved her hands to her hips. "Alright 'Tachi. Pay close attention to what I'm about to do to you, 'cause I'm only doing this once…" ACK. She should've slapped herself for that. Oh how dirty it sounded… Sakura could hear her Inner persona snickering at the sentence. Her cheeks once again flushed into a bright red color, while she shook her head at Itachi's adorably confused face. "I mean, like, uh—y-you know what? Just forget what I said."

To start, Sakura took the showerhead and thoroughly rinsed Itachi's hair to prepare him for the shampoo. Squeezing a generous amount of it onto her palm, she began to massage his scalp… and since Sakura couldn't complete her task without looking at him, she couldn't help but notice how long Itachi's hair was. And to put it simply, it was a lot longer than what she had thought at first; it fell to his lower back in like a waterfall of glossy, jet-black ink.

A fountain of water gushed from the showerhead and fell onto Itachi's head, dragging the white shampoo bubbles down into the main body of water below him. Having finished washing his hair, Sakura continued by rubbing a bar of soap between her hands, the cotton-soft foam covering them like a glove. Next up: rubbing Itachi down with some soap… Yeah, easier said than done (or was it?). Sakura suddenly had the urge to call Naruto up again, but she knew just what kind of hell would ensue if he had heard her next request. Her hands trembled with anxiety as she took a deep breath: she knew what she was about to do next was down rightviolating and nosebleed inducing, but… what other choice did she have?

She slapped her hands on his shoulders, but nothing could've prepared her for the electrical signals her hands sent back to her brain.

'_My God!' _she marveled_, 'He's… soft!_" Sakura had expected his shoulders to be hard and rough but instead they were soft and slightly squishy; the exact opposite! She couldn't help but squeeze his shoulders a couple times (which made Itachi tense up with an inaudible mewl) before exploring his arms, which were just as soft—but firm—as his shoulders. This mesmerized her; male shinobi normally have a calloused texture to their skin due to training and innumerable battles, but Itachi's was baby-soft.

"Sakura…?"

Next up she started lathering his chest while looking at his face, and Sakura made yet another observation:

Not only was Itachi's skin soft and smooth, but it was also flawless as well. His face showed no traces of acne and his lips were a gentle pink.

'_Damn it…' _she mused inwardly.

"Sakura…"

Her eyes narrowed in amusement._ 'He's girlier than me—'_

"Sakura!" Itachi finally yelped and poked her hard in her cheeks to try and get her attention.

"H-huh? What's wrong?" she asked, still dazed from being abruptly pulled from her thoughts. Sakura gave a questioning glance and saw that his cheeks were rosily flushed. Was he… blushing?

"You're… touchy me strange…" his voice dropped to nothing towards the end of the sentence as he looked down in confusion and embarrassment. Sakura looked down to see what he meant only to find that she was, indeed, touching him strangely, and any further elaboration is not necessary.

In that exact moment, Sakura made a mental note to never, _ever_, let Inner Sakura take control of her like that again.

Finally, she finished giving Itachi a bath and luckily for her, she found another pair of pants and a large T-shirt for him to wear.

'_Mental Note Number Two: Buy him some decent clothing so I won't have to resort to digging through my closet,' _she reminded herself.

After an awkward session of drying him off, she excused herself to allow him to dress and strangely enough, though, he actually knew how to dress himself this time. Leaning against the cold wood of the door, she closed her eyes in exhaustion and listened to the soft pitter-patter of the rain that barely began. An infinite amount of teardrops could be seen playfully sliding down the glass of her window, eliciting a silver ethereal reflection all over her department. Sakura recalled that there was a large chance a thunderstorm would pass by according to the local weather forecast. Too tired to really care about it, however, she turned off the lamplight by her bed and waited for Itachi to come out. She glanced at the clock, which read 10:24 PM.

At last, he came out tugging his shirt down over his naval, his hair entangling as a result.

"Itachi," she mumbled. The rain was beginning to make her a little sleepy. "It's time to sleep."

"Eh? Ah… Mm." The bathroom incident was still floating around in his mind. Itachi made his way to the other side of the bed as Sakura slipped in comfortably, but then…

He tripped. Clumsily.

"Mmph!" His face landed flat into the bed sheet, sending a miniature shockwave that woke Sakura from her doze. She gave him "The Look" that said nothing but, _'What the hell!'_ Sighing, she helped him up as well as tucked him in ("I'm sorry!" he apologized.). They lay on opposite ends of the bed for quite some time, quietly waiting for sleep to claim them, but just as Sakura was about to fall asleep again, lightning boomed somewhere in the distance, scaring Itachi into jolting to wrap his arms around Sakura from behind in a crushing hug for comfort.

"GAH! Hey, do you mind?!" Sakura attempted to pry his hands free, but to no avail. If anything, it only made his hold even tighter. Itachi nuzzled into the crook of her neck. Sakura could smell the fresh scent of strawberry coming his hair and, after a while she gave up trying to wriggle herself loose; it was pointless trying to wrestle with one of the world's most powerful shinobi, after all. Soon she could feel his body heat warming her up from through the clothing.

"Sheesh," she whispered to herself more than to Itachi. Sakura added one last remark before she slipped into the dreamworld. "You're more trouble than what you're worth, you know that?" And with that, she fell asleep for the rest of the night.

While Itachi snuggled closer, Sakura didn't realize just how right she was at that time.

**Chapter 3 End**

* * *

Please read and review~! Thank you. :)


	4. Chapter 4: A Pet Cat

A certain reviewer pointed out that the villagers should know about Itachi. Although I'm sure they _should_, I somehow doubt that they would… After all, Itachi and Kisame ate in a dango shop without any qualms or reports of suspicious figures whatsoever. Therefore in this story, no, villagers do not know about Itachi; they just think he's some randomly cute/hot guy at Sakura's mercy. Haha. And thanks to the person who pointed that out btw. 8)

Sorry for the (extremely) long delay. But alas, chapter 4 is out! Please enjoy. 8)

**Chapter 4: A Pet Cat

* * *

**The next day, Konoha was greeted with a wonderfully fresh morning. Although the thunderstorm had kept some of the villagers awake all night (including a certain weasel, Sakura dismays), the feel of the cool breeze against her skin and the sight of the golden dew playfully clinging to any and all forms of vegetation was more than enough to make up for Sakura's lack of sleep. The air was crisp and any remnants of last night's storm remained in forms of clear puddles, fluffy gray skies and squishy mud all across the village roads. Several villagers could be seen all over Konoha, criss-crossing and turning along the roads like mechanical ants. Locking the door to her apartment, Sakura sorely rubbed the back of her head and shot the young man standing next to her a resigned look, who all but simply gave her another one of his deviously innocent expressions in return.

Last night, in annoyance of being kept up all night because of Itachi's fear of thunder, Sakura reached out and frustratingly yanked his hair to stop him from squeezing the life of her and from shaking so much. Itachi let out a small yelp of surprise and remained stock still afterwards, allowing Sakura to think that that had done the trick. But just when she had begun to slip back into sleep again, she felt something grasp a fistful of _her _hair and, before she could have time to even think about it, the weasel yanked.

It wasn't as hard as Sakura did to him, though… but it still was quite a shock to her anyway. She didn't think for _once _that Itachi might have been the vengeful type—at least, not in his newborn-kitty state anyway. Too bad she learned it the hair-yanking way…

But as the morning progressed and more and more of the villagers awoke to their daily ritual, Sakura had more pressing matters on her mind than hair pulling. Yesterday night, after giving Itachi his first bath since she found him, she made a mental note to herself to buy him some new clothing since all he had was what Sakura gave him. True, she could wash his initial outfit and give him that since it _is _his size, but… ever since the encounter she had with him on the mission to rescue Gaara, she had come to detest those red, white, and black cloud patterns no matter how fashionately unique they were (yes, she would've thought those cloaks fashion-savvy if it weren't for the organization it associated with). But that wasn't the _really _pressing matter on Sakura's mind that made her decide to go shopping the very next day…

It was the fact that she had unknowingly made the seemingly innocuous Uchiha Itachi… go commando.

Sakura didn't know whether to be extremely amused or sickeningly perturbed at the mere thought, but one thing was for sure: Itachi is in desperate need of some new underwear. Getting which kind, though, was another problem.

Should she buy him boxers? Briefs? Boxer briefs? Sakura tried her best to calm the magma accumulating beneath her cheeks, but failed miserably. This has got to be the most embarrassing thoughts she's had since her runaway fantasies of Sasuke so many years ago, and to think this time it'd be about his _older brother_,of all people (this time it's _not _a fantasy. No, not at all… really.)!

Ignoring the questionable whispers and stares the civilians gave her nowadays, she and Itachi (who rather enjoyed

dodging all the puddles although his face didn't show it) made their way down the street and stopped at the first clothing store. She immediately pulled him by the arm to the men's section and hurriedly browsed while trying to hide behind a manikin; Sakura wanted nothing more than to remain as obscure as possible. She had spotted a pair of some rather cute red and black plaid scarves, but, unfortunately, she did not have much time to spare before rumors of her explode across Konoha.

Taking one look at the size and from both sides to check the pattern, she swiped any kind of random clothing from the rack and threw it onto her arm. Among them were some button-up shirts, T-shirts, tanks, plain white pajamas, and some pants.

… It pays to be a shinobi.

* * *

**~ Some time later… ~**

_'Let's see… jeans, check. Pants, check. Some shorts would be good too," _she thought while going down her mental list. _'Tank tops, decent shirts, and pajamas, check.' _Ducking under various other manikins and clothing racks with an armful of the clothing, the pale-faced teen surveyed the area to make sure that nobody was nearby before approaching that dreaded section. An embarrassed, uncomfortable feeling burst to life in Sakura's chest, clawing at her from the inside out, and the sign above her head didn't make her feel any better, either.

"_MEN'S UNDERWEAR"_

Oh… Oh God. Her mind just drew a blank.

Why was she even here in the first place again?

Knees wobbling, the teen slowly, shakily outstretched her hand towards the product directly in front of her, sweat already forming beads on her forehead from the action. It was a box of neatly folded boxers with a few patterns on it. Swallowing the growing lump in her throat, she glanced up, down, left and right of the aisle and noticed that there a lot more brands than she thought. There was Hanes, Jockey, 2xist, Andrew Christian, C-IN2, Calvin Klein (author's note: lol I just googled those up)… Putting down the first box where it originally was, Sakura picked up a few more to look at and as a medical ninja, she could literally feel her blood pressure steadily rising as her hands shook. Itachi, bored from watching his caretaker anxiously fretting for no reason, sat down and rested his head in his hands. He apparently had an expression that was almost akin to a pout splayed across his features when a familiar voice halted Sakura in her tracks.

"Forehead Girl?" the painfully familiar voice rang in her ears. Putting down the underwear, Sakura slowly turned her head to look at her blonde friend—the other blonde friend, that is.

After a moment of silence, Sakura finally answered, trying to sound as casual as possible with a smile on her face.

"… Yes, Ino?" she strained. Of all the times Ino could've caught her, why did it have to be now?

Half of Ino's face was covered with her pristine golden bangs, whilst the rest of her hair was neatly tied up into a ponytail that fell all the way down to her lower back. Wearing her casual attire of a purple tank top with matching shorts that reached her knees, Ino watched her best friend through azure eyes that Sakura _swears_ could see right through her.

"Uh…" Ino slowly began. "Are you… doing… what I think you're doing?"

"Er…" and before Ino could notice Itachi (who was just beginning to doze off), Sakura scurried in front of him in an attempt to block him from her sight. Despite being bigger than Sakura, Itachi appeared small and deceptively easy to hide whenever he drew his knees up to his chest. "What are you talking about?" she laughed nervously. "I was just uh… you know, curious! So I… erm… yeah…" Oh how Sakura wished someone would just kill her, right here, right now for making up one of the most pathetic excuses. But then again, what could one possibly say to get out a situation like this?

Unfortunately for Sakura, Ino crossed her arms and, judging from the look on her face, she obviously didn't buy it. "Do you take me for an idiot, Sakura? You just practically scurried in front of something and then make an excuse that you were in the men's section because you were just 'curious'? You're sounding awfully suspicious, you know that?" she took a step closer, making Sakura push Itachi back in return. Waking up from his doze, he tiredly looked up at Sakura's back and rubbed his eye, the movement catching Ino's attention. Her eyes suddenly flared. "And just what _are _you trying to hide, anyway?"

"It's nothing, nothing!! I sw—GAH!!" regardless, Ino shoved her aside, revealing everybody's favorite little weasel. He yawned and stared back up at the new visitor drowsily, rubbing his eye as a small tear appeared. Shocked, she looked from Itachi first, then to Sakura's pale horror-stricken face, and then back to Itachi again.

"Oh…" she whispered quietly to herself. And then that smug look the universe learned to fear crossed her face. "Oh, _I see_," she stated with an evil knowing look in her eyes as it took in the sight of Itachi, scanning him from head to toe. Not good. "So, this is the rumored 'questioningly-drop-dead-gorgeous-yet-somehow-clueless' young man that's been hanging out with you, eh? So tell me, Sakura, what's his name? And just _how _long have you been seeing each other? Hm?" Sakura could do nothing but remain frozen in horror—wait, what?

"Wait, what?" Sakura couldn't help blurting out her thoughts.

"His name, Forehead. What's your boyfriend's name?" Ino replied matter-of-factly. Itachi perked up at the mention of a new word he didn't know yet, curiously looking up at the blonde woman in front of him.

"Wha—_boyfriend_?" she stammered, blushing all the while. "W-w-what gives you _that _idea?!"

Ino held up three fingers. "One: You're blushing. Two: You're stuttering. And most of all, three: Why _else_ would you buy underwear for a hottie like him?" she finished, vigorously winking at "else" to make it highly suggestive.

"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong! He's not my boy—"

"Then what _is _he?" she pressed. Looking back and forth between the two bickering friends, Itachi finally decided to intervene once his curiosity got the better of him.

"Um… Excuse me?" He began. The soft, deep baritone of his voice immediately caught Ino's attention. "What's… a boyfriend?" he asked.

Ino blinked. "… I beg your pardon?"

* * *

**~ Five Minutes Later… ~**

"Oh, um… wow," said Ino after Sakura finished explaining her situation. Sakura rolled her eyes at Ino's reply.

"That's seriouslygetting really old, really fast, Ino," she scoffed. "Can't you people say anything different for once?"

"Haha, whatever Forehead. What did you expect? Anyways, I know you totally hate the guy so… you wouldn't mind if I take him off your hands for a while would you?"

Sakura was taken aback. "Huh? Oh… uh… no, I guess not. Be my guest."

"Wonderful~! I'll be off then. Oh, and before I go, I recommend buying him some dark boxer briefs. I'm sure they'd look _delicious _(a small part of Sakura died right there and then) on him~" and with that, Sakura's best blonde friend took Itachi's hand ("So soft!" squealed Ino) and made off to some unknown section of the store, leaving Sakura alone with her underwear voyage.

"Hm~ Hm~ Hm~" Ino hummed happily, if not a little too happily, as she pulled Itachi into what seemed like a changing room in the middle of… well, somewhere. There were numerous dark bags lay piled against the wall, as well as some clothing racks. He wondered why Sakura hadn't followed them, but if she thought it was okay, then it was okay with him too. Standing in the dark room illuminated by a single light bulb, Itachi began to feel uneasy as he observed the blonde woman's actions as she yet again looked him over with a look of concentration on her face.

"Ah, I got it!" she smiled after the examination. Ruffling through the various bags of clothing, she finally pulled one of their contents out, revealing a costume, and approached the weasel. Perturbed, Itachi unknowingly backed up into a corner, effectively trapping himself. "You would definitely look good in these…" Ino giggled darkly.

Itachi, officially scared now, could only poke her back.

* * *

A sigh escaped her lips in a puff as Sakura smiled gratefully towards the direction her friend had gone. Not wanting to waste anymore time and simply because Ino had recommended it, the teen took two packages of black boxer briefs and proceeded to the store clerk. Of course, she earned a very questioning raised eyebrow but nonetheless the clerk had a job to do. But as luck would have it, just as Sakura was getting ready to pay she heard a scream.

It wasn't those typical high-pitched screams one would hear in a movie. No, this one was different; in fact, it was more of a whimper-scream than a scream and its tone was rather low—definitely masculine. Every head in the store turned to the direction it came from, and to Sakura's utter horror, she painfully realized that it came from the unknown section of the store.

"What was that?"

"Was that a guy I just heard?"

"If it was, then that was either one very sissy guy or a very manly girl."

Everyone was whispering among themselves now. _'Oh, nooo…' _moaned Sakura. She hoped against all hope it wasn't what she thought it was. After few bumps were heard from that mysterious section a black blur burst out and made a mad dash toward Sakura, tackling her down so swiftly that she didn't even realize it until she hit the ground.

"Ow!" Sakura rubbed her head in dizzying pain only to find Itachi lying on top of her, his arms around her shoulders in a painfully familiar life-crushing embrace. Still panic-stricken, he nuzzled the crook of her neck for comfort as Ino calmly made her entrance onto the scene, giggling while intently gazing at Itachi. "Ino!" moaned Sakura. Itachi was heavier than she thought. "Urgh—What the _hell _is going on?!"

Ino gasped, "Oh, sorry Forehead… But it's nothing to worry about though, really~! Just look at him~!"

"Huh?" Sakura breathed as her dizziness ebbed away. Stiffening from Ino's statement, Itachi further tightened his hold, preventing his poor caretaker from breathing as well as seeing what Ino meant. The teen struggled with the weasel but to no avail; he refused to let go. Ino, in the meantime, was still giggling. "Itachi," wheezed Sakura, "Let… go of me…!"

Still, he refused, and her patience finally snapped.

"Itachi," she muttered through gritted teeth. "Let. Go. Of. Me. RIGHT NOW." Sensing the growing impatience and anger emanating from her, Itachi slowly, wearily, loosened his death grip as she pushed him off… and Sakura saw what Ino had meant.

Ironically, it wasn't what she thought it was. But also ironically, it was… well, sort of.

Itachi was clad in a dark, sleeveless (_'…and rather tight,' _she tries not to think) turtleneck midriff that cutoff just above his belly, along with matching pants that all but defined his bum and legs. His arm warmers were identical to those of the anbu—it began just below where his shoulders stopped, snugly fitting his arms and hands in a dark fashion. He also had cat ears and, from Sakura's angle, she could see a dark elegant tail gently curled around his left leg. Still sitting on top of Sakura with his cheeks rose-tinted and eyes that almost seemed teary, Itachi blushed shyly when he felt her gaze at him in shock.

_'Itachi… in a cat costume,' _she thought, almost as if to confirm it with herself. _**'THE Itachi in a cat costume,' **_Inner Sakura gleamed. _**' My life is complete!'**_

"… Hm, not quite. Something's missing," Ino pondered out loud. Sakura glanced at Ino and then back to Itachi.

"Wh… what is?"

"…AH! I got it," grinned Ino. She combed through those mysterious dark bags until she found what she wanted. Beaming, she strode over to poor, innocent Itachi and slipped something around his neck: a red collar complete with a glistening yellow bell. "There! Now _my _life is complete," she hummed, unknowingly countering Inner Sakura's thoughts.

"What is this…" murmured Itachi. He cringed when Ino's eyes flashed.

"This," she said matter-of-factly, "Is what I call… 'Bondage.' Congratulations, Forehead! You just got yourself your very own pet~" Sakura gaped.

"What's a 'pet'?" Noticing his increasingly panicked state, Ino questioned him sweetly.

"Oh? Sakura didn't teach you that either? A pet," snickered Ino, "Is someone who does whatever another person says. A slave, in other words."

"A… slave?" Itachi blinked wearily.

"Yep~! And if you don't like Sakura, you can be my pet instead. I wouldn't mind _at all_~"

"Ino!" gagged Sakura. Itachi's weight was beginning to get to her. "Don't teach him the wrong meaning—"

"No…"

"Eh?"

"…No! I… I…" he whimpered, once again throwing himself on top of Sakura.

"Gah, get off of me already!" said Sakura irritably, but Itachi remained stock-still and silent. "Itachi…?" He mumbled something inaudible and held her more tightly. "What? I couldn't quite catch that."

"I…" he began.

"…Yes?"

He glanced at Ino, then at Sakura. After a moment's silence, he finally spoke. "…I… want to be your pet…"

Sakura's eyes widened at the statement, the words he spoke freezing her muscles into immobility. Every order her brain sent to her body was left ignored and meaningless. Those words he spoke… she knew he said it more out of fear than out of actual want, but it still shocked her. Sakura really didn't know how to react to his declaration, but fortunately for her for once, she didn't have to; everyone else did for her.

Well, not really. They just stared at her in what could _possibly _(maybe) be called "awe"—in a bad way, of course.

…Crud.

She totally forgot they were even there.

* * *

**~ After Sakura has managed to hide from the crowd on her way home~**

"Oh, suck it up, Forehead girl, it wasn't that bad!" Ino whined as she and Sakura walked the path to her friend's house. After the little "pet" incident at the clothing store, Sakura hurredly slapped the money on the counter and made for the exit, pulling a traumatized Itachi with her. Having spent the rest of the remaining day desperately avoiding the now suspicious stares from the general public, she, along with Ino and Itachi, had finally managed to get some time for themselves to rest.

"Yes it was, Ino-PIG," Sakura darkly muttered, addressing her best friend by her childhood nickname. She re-adjusted her grip on the store bags so it wouldn't slip from her grasp. Itachi followed closely behind the two bickering friends, staring blankly at the ground.

"Uh, no it wasn't! You're just embarrassed you like cat-boys and people found out."

"I do **not **like cat-boys!"

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"No, I _don't_!"

"Yes, you—"

"_Why are you trying to push my buttons, Ino-PIG_?" Sakura hissed loudly, catching the nearby villagers' attention.

"Mom, look, it's the Cheshire Cat!"

"Don't look at them, honey…"

Sakura cringed at the mention of the Cheshire Cat and glared at Itachi behind her as she hastened her pace. "_And why are you still wearing that_?!"

Itachi meekly pointed at Ino, who stifled her laughter.

"Uuuuugh," feeling a headache coming on, Sakura groaned. "… Whatever. We're here, Itachi... And Ino, get out of my sight before I decide to punch a crater somewhere near that lovely flower shop of yours."

"Hai, hai, whatever you say Ms. Embarrassed-Forehead-Girl-Who-Likes-Cat-Boys," but before Sakura could even clench her fists, Ino was gone in a swirl of leaves. Opening the door to her apartment, Sakura listlessly dropped the bags of clothing she was carrying at the entrance, took off her shoes and plopped lifelessly onto her bed. Although her head was buried in her pillow, she could still hear the faint footsteps of another presence approaching her, which was, after some thinking, the cause of today's incident. She should never have taken him along…

"Sakura?"

"Go change into your pajamas and be quiet, Itachi. I'm in a bad mood."

"…Hai." He did as he was told, and soon enough he emerged from the bathroom dressed in the plain white pajamas she had purchased earlier in the day. Not sure of what else he should do, he climbed onto the bed where Sakura already lay with her head in the pillow and laid down next to her, staring anxiously at the ceiling in an attempt to fall asleep.

Seconds passed. Soon they turned into minutes… and eventually from minutes, to hours. Yet, the two of them could not fall asleep. Sakura flipped onto her back and stared at the ceiling just as Itachi did, but to no avail. Sleep still avoided her. She sneaked a look at her companion and saw that his eyes were closed, but she knew he was still awake judging from his breathing.

_'Jeez… I tell him to be quiet and he gets all insomniac on me…' _she thought. _'…Maybe…?'_

"Itachi?" she whispered. He didn't reply but she knew better.

"I'm… sorry. I was just irritated… But… if it makes you feel any better…" she hesitated, "… You… can be my pet…"

"… Really?" came his low, soft reply.

Sakura hesitated once more. "…Really." Sighing, she turned onto her side facing away from him and pulled the blankets more closely to herself. In reality, she didn't mean it; she only said it to get to him to sleep. Closing her eyes, Sakura indulged in the darkness her eyelids brought, seeking to fall asleep once again. She finally succeeded if not for a short time, but in doing so she missed the small smile that graced his lips as he, too, fell asleep without any trouble.

**Chapter 4 End

* * *

**

Phew. I think this was the longest chapter by far… I hope you guys like it. Please read and review and tell me what you think—Reviews feed my soul. Oh yeah, sorry about the lame chapter title again. I'll change it once I think of a better name. Haha.

-- Wingless Fallen Angel

P.S. I'm sorry if I made Itachi a little too whimpy this chapter. I promise I'll make it up later… 8)


	5. Chapter 5: Strawberry Trouble

Disclaimer: I don't own Itachi. I mean Naruto. I don't own Naruto. Sorry for the horribly late update, school has gotten so much more hectic that it's ridiculous. But here it is at last. Enjoy. (:

**Chapter 5

* * *

**Once upon another fitful day filled with nothing but an amnesiac young man who all but outright seems to refuse whatever his caretaker may ask of him (without even knowing it), Sakura slumped out of frustration and groaned.

"Itachi…" Her eyes began to hurt, so she began rubbing them as the little weasel looked up from where he was comfortably cuddling her arm.

"Yes?" came his innocuous reply. From Sakura's angle, his ashen eyes reflected the light in such a way that the grays of his eyes were accentuated rather nicely. She furrowed her brow and looked the other way; the way his eyes were reflecting the light reminded her of some shiny-eyed chibi-weasel, complete with weasel ears and tail and all.

"… Stop cuddling me." Itachi blinked.

"No," he replied simply for the umpteenth time, closed his eyes and continued nuzzling her arm again with his nose. If Itachi had a tail, it would be lazily swaying back and forth right now, happily content with its situation.

'And to think this guy was born an Uchiha.'

'_**Oh please! I bet all Uchihas were this cute when they were little,' **_cooed Inner Sakura. Outer Sakura scoffed.

'So why are they all bastards?'

Inner was at a loss._**'… Because they're cute?' **_She couldn't think of a better reply.

'Based on that logic, then, ridding this world of every cute male would in turn abolish evil. I think I actually agree with you there, Inner,' As though he could hear her thoughts, Itachi stopped his nuzzling business and looked up at Sakura, an emotion akin to shock in his eyes. Sakura blinked a few times, wondering if he did hear what she had thought. They remained like that for the next moment, simply staring at each other.

And then he licked her arm.

"GRAH!" The pinkette pushed the raven's face away, whose expression was rather amused and pleased at the same time. Desperate, Sakura frantically searched her room for something to wipe her arm with while trying to keep Itachi from licking her again just for the hell of it.

'What the HELL?' thought the poor, distressed teen. Then Itachi pounced on her, pushing her to the floor, but not too hard. Scared for her life, Sakura pushed for all she's worth to try and get him off her, but to no avail. Since when were weasels this strong?! Oh, wait, she forgot; this is an Uchiha weasel she's dealing with.

"Wha—dammit, Itachi, get off!"

"But—"

"I said _get off_!"

"But, Sakura…" Itachi groaned, and their brief struggled froze in time for him to look at her. The medic grimaced, mentally preparing herself for what other strange things he might pull on her. Then a strange sound came to her ears, and she felt her stomach rumble.

Wait a minute. _Her _stomach didn't rumble. Her stomach _felt _the rumble… which means her stomach didn't do the rumbling.

Itachi half closed his eyes. "I'm hungry," he simply stated, and with that he forfeited their small battle, laying flat against her. All the energy drained out of Sakura then, as she realized with her own stomach growling that she, too, was also hungry.

"I know, Itachi," she groaned. "Believe me, I know."

After the whole pet incident at the clothing store, the poor pinkette wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock as she painfully watched (and listened) to her reputation around the village just… plummet. It didn't take long before rumors of her little "man-pet-cat-boy" exploded all across the small village, causing practically all females to think about forming a men's right association and all males—even Naruto!— to avoid ever crossing paths with the notorious Pink Dominator.

… Seriously. The village isn't kidding.

The teen had opted to lock herself and her "pet" up inside her own home for the rest of their lives, but not even that could be allowed because, after all, she was wasn't superhuman and neither was Itachi; they'd eventually starve to death if she didn't at least go out and buy some food. And to top it off, Itachi wasn't making things any easier for Sakura either, like usual—hell, he had _repeatedly_ refused taking off the goddamn collar after she had said he could be her pet the very next morning! Fortunately though, after some horrible teeth grinding, vulgar cussing, and a decent amount of migraines, Sakura had finally managed to get that cringe-inducing red collar off of him.

(Still unfortunately her, though, the "pet" persona could not be weeded out.)

Stupid weasel, she thought. Here she is, spending her time and energy trying to take care of this guy when he doesn't even deserve it and what does he do? He just had to go and unknowingly provethose brain-rotting rumors correct with the whole collar fiasco. Apparently her neighbor had heard a fair amount of ruckus next door and looked out his window only to see the Pink Dominator—lo and behold—wresting the poor raven down…

That was the last time she'll ever leave her curtains open. Ever. Shannaro.

Which brings her back to the food problem. After about a week and a half of living in her room, the very unfortunate teen had finally run out of the emergency ramen provisions Naruto had given her long ago and after another hour of listening to two grumbling stomachs… well… Sakura had no choice than to make contact with the outside world once again.

Standing up, Sakura took a moment to gather her courage for she made up her mind. All she has to do is go out, buy some food, and go back in. It should be simple, right? She looked at Itachi out of the corner of her eye, who fully returned the exchange. Okay, on second thought, maybe it wouldn't be so simple. Ridiculous trouble always comes about whenever and wherever she brings him along. So, the logical thing to do, then, is simple: Leave Itachi at home.

The idea struck something inside her._'… Why have I never thought of this before?' _thought Sakura. _'It would have saved me from all the trouble I'm going through now…'_

'It's for the plot, my dear…' came a barely audible whisper. Sakura jumped at the ghost voice, looking around for the source it came from. There was only Itachi in the room, but he was busy dozing off like he usually does when there is nothing to do.

'_Must be going crazy,' _she muttered to herself.

* * *

"Ah, it's true, it's true! There they are!"

"Eh? But he doesn't look so enslaved to me—"

"Shhh! Are you crazy? What if she hears you? It'll be the end of us!"

'_Too late,' _Sakura mentally grinded her teeth. She and Itachi had just finished shopping for groceries and were now walking home on the familial dirt path. As usual, the stares, the pointing, and the gossip mercilessly and cruelly clawed at her back, metaphorically pushing her along the path home even further despite her trying to ignore it (or rather, trying to ignore the fact that half of the gossip was actually _true_). All in all, the trip to the supermarket wasn't all that bad—if you subtract the previously mentioned negatives, that is—and at the very least, Itachi didn't unknowingly cause trouble for her this time. That was certainly a plus.

'_Bread, check. Rice, check.' _A group of men that saw them abruptly ceased their chatter, wearily backing away and forcing a smile when she looked at them.

'_And emergency ramen provisions, check. That's the last of it,' _thought Sakura as she shuffled through her grocery bag. Several women lounging at a nearby café giggled as Itachi walked by, but glared at his caretaker as she passed. Sakura shot them back her own glare, red hot with annoyance. Jeez! Since when were the women of this village so superficial? They wouldn't be giggling if they knew what he did to his own family… Hell, it's amazing a psychopath of that magnitude could possibly even come from someone like Itachi… not that she is trying to defend him or anything; it was simply easy to imagine that Itachi was like the way he is now when he was a child, excluding the random licks, pounces, pokes, cat costumes, and outright perverted situations that somehow managed to worm their way into her life. Being born an Uchiha was sure to have rid of those kinds of quirky characteristics in the first place, and Sakura was sure that Itachi was one of those mature, intelligent children. But now that she thought about it…

If the current Itachi, with his memories scattered and forgotten, represented himself as a child, then how did he ever come to what he is now? How could he have become a psychopath, a mass murderer and missing S-class criminal, a traitor to Konoha? Why? And most confusing of all, if he truly was what was claimed, then why did he return?

Sakura stopped dead in her tracks. Questions suddenly flooded her mind like a massive tsunami. Aside from the now ominous recalling of how Tsunade so casually assigned her this mission… there seemed to be far too many holes in the criminal that was Uchiha Itachi, too many questions—questions that should have been asked. Or should they? What if, Sakura thought, the questions weren't asked… for a reason? She snuck a peek at the raven walking alongside her. Well, she would have, if only the said raven was there. Itachi was gone.

* * *

It was a sunny day. The clouds were sparse, but plump and fluffy wherever they may be seen. The birds' choir filled the afternoon atmosphere, casting an invisible glow on the environment. Meanwhile, a very irritated ice cream man handed the ice cream cone over to his indecisive customer.

"Here ya go, young man. Don't take so much time next time, alright? Not very many people are patient these days."

"_Hai_," replied Itachi. "But just to make sure…"

"Yes, the ice cream is pink and yes, the flavor is strawberry. Ever seen an ice cream shop where you from?" asked the incredulous (but still irritated) ice cream man. "But forget that. Do you even know what a strawberry is?"

"It is a red fruit." Itachi had seen Sakura examining some at the supermarket, but as far as he can see, the "strawberry" was just a mini, but pointy, tomato with seeds on its skin.

"Uh… yeah, good enough. I think. Have a nice day," and Itachi was dismissed with a wave. Carefully holding the cone so that the ice cream doesn't fall off, Itachi maneuvered his way around the crowd of people. He didn't notice nor did he seem to care how they were peering at him strangely, especially one of the men, who apparently seemed to be shocked at Itachi's presence. All that mattered now was that he had something that was a "strawberry," as the ice cream man claimed, and he wanted to get back to Sakura as fast as possible. His teenage caretaker seemed to have many troubling issues on her mind, if the scary expressions she was making were any indication. First, she would look irritated and annoyed, but then she'd look as though she were pondering something, and then a shocked expression would splay across her features without warning.

Sakura really is weird, he thought (oh the irony!). But still, Itachi felt bad. She always took care of him even though she was tired, and so he wanted to do something for her in exchange. Since a decent portion of the food they bought were strawberries, he assumed that she liked them. Solution to making her keep at least one expression on her face: get her something that was strawberry. Problem was, he didn't know where to get them until he saw the ice cream man selling his sweets with a big sign that had the word _ichigo _in one of its sentences. Another problem: Itachi didn't know which one of the ice cream that was being sold was strawberry, so he asked the man. But now, he seems to have encountered yet another problem: he couldn't find his _ichigo _caretaker. He could have sworn that she was next to him when he sought the strawberries (oh the irony again!). And so he set off in his mini quest to find his guardian.

The weasel walked down the street across from the ice cream shop and turned left. No Sakura.

He turned right and walked a little further. No _ichigo_.

He turned left. Still no caretaker. Disappointed, he decided to go back to where he was—only, he didn't recognize where he was.

Conclusion: Itachi is _not _lost. He just can't find Sakura…

...

Okay, he's lost. Where is his pink guardian when he wants her? Just when he finally got the strawberry thing too…

Itachi leaned against wall, still holding the cone in his hands. The ice cream was beginning to melt, the sticky-sweet liquid oozing down from the cone and to his fingers.

He was sad now; the strawberry he worked hard to find was melting, and Sakura was nowhere in sight.

* * *

_'No. No, no, no. This isn't happening. Itachi isn't gone. I didn't lose him. I'm not panicking,'_ Sakura tried to convince herself even though it was obvious that it wasn't true. Where could he have gone now?! It's not like Ino kidnapped him for another round of her perverse fantasies, or if Naruto decided to be evil and kidnapped him just to do… stuff… to him. Er, evil stuff. Not that kind of evil stuff. She would have known if they did! Or at least, she thought she would have known…

"Excuse me!" Sakura returned to the café she passed by earlier and, to her slight relief, saw the same group of chatty women that ogled Itachi earlier. They ceased their chatter and reared their heads to Sakura, not bothering to disguise the repulsion from their features. "Have you seen the guy that was with me earlier? I seem to have lost him on my way back home."

A smug look crossed one of the women's faces, causing a small part of Sakura to snap inside. "_Ara_," she said, "I'm afraid I have no idea what you are talking about."

The pinkette restrained herself from grinding her teeth in annoyance. "You know full well who I am talking about."

"Oh? Do I, now? I'm also afraid that I am not interested in your affairs, oh Pink Dominator." A vein was throbbing in Sakura's temple now. Inner Sakura raged within her, her anger valiantly bubbling to the surface.

_'I don't have time for this.'_ The teen stormed off and searched for clues elsewhere, the newfound anxiety now building up in her chest.

She couldn't quite explain why, but she had a feeling that something bad was going to happen if she didn't get to Itachi soon. Quickening her pace, Sakura hurried to wherever he may be.

* * *

A teenage boy, presumably around the age of sixteen or seventeen, made his way to one of the mini forests that dotted the village's walls. Unlike earlier in the day, while he was at the ice cream shop, he was now dressed in his ANBU attire: the customary, sleek black pants and short-sleeve turtleneck, gray vest, and the porcelain white mask that covered his face like a wall of impenetrable plaster. Slowly, he walked to a certain part of the forest, stopping between two trees and firmly placing his palm on the ground.

"Kai!" The chant released the genjutsu around the area, revealing a trap door in the ground. Pulling the entrance open, he proceeded down the hidden stairs and into the torch-lit tunnels underground. The orange light cast by the torches flickered as the boy passed by, the shadows dancing and merging with the boy's own.

The secret underground tunnels ran far, long, and deep. Air became increasingly stifled and thin with every step the boy took, but he paid it no mind for he was already accustomed to such conditions. He wound his way around each corner, turning here and there, stopping when asked for identification from the other guards. He walked, and walked, and walked, until finally he arrived at his destination.

Three dull knocks on the old, oak door were made to signal his presence, and then he allowed himself in. A figure silhouetted by the torches' light sat hunched over in his chair, his features indiscernible. He questioned his subordinate in an old, raspy voice that held authority and confidence.

"What is it?" The boy bowed and kneeled in respect and submission. He answered with his head down.

"I have come to make a report, Danzou-sama. It concerns Uchiha Itachi."

**Chapter 5 End**

* * *

Uh oh. What will happen next chapter, now that Danzou is involved?!

Hehe.

-- Wingless Fallen Angel

P.S. Please leave a review and let me know what you think so far! Reviews feed my soul. (:


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